How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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