I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
