she was so not down for the gang bang
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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