i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
