I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
