ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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