I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
