Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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