That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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