Don't you send me to vm
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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