He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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