I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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