Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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