We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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