i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
