How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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