I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
