I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
