38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
