I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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