Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
