Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
