every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
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I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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