He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
