Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You were trust falling into bushes
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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