but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
