I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
