Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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