wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
