We won't sleep together?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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