Dual....:-)
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
