i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
