I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
