either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
