Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
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I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Drake has all the answers
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm too high and old for this...
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