why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
