She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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