now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
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he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
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I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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