It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize