Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
