Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
