Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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