Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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