Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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