Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
