put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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