I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
