There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i drank out of a bidet.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
