Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
