How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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