I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
