Where did you get a picture of my penis
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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