Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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