It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize