Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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