Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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