i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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