so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
