im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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