I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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