Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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