oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
