You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
