and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
