omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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